Lots of News!

I would like to start off by saying that Barrett is here! He arrived on Oct 1, 2009 at 8:06AM. He weighs 5 lbs 9oz and is 19 inches long.

I thought everything was going to be great! It was such a surreal experience, one that I will never forget for the rest of my life. He was crying while the doctors were doing everything they do when you deliver, then the moment they put him in my arms he stopped crying and started looking at me. Right at that moment I knew my life would never be the same. It was also that moment that I realized how much my parents really loved me. A parents love is indescribable and so amazing. I only hope that some day Barrett really understands how much his Father and I love him already!

After they took him away they asked Graham to follow them to the NICU just to make sure everything was okay since he was 4 weeks early. He came back to my room and said everything is great, Barrett is perfect and they are about to take him in the nursery, then will bring him back to the room in a couple of hours. Graham and I had been up for about 30 hours straight (more to come on that) so I told Graham to go home and take a nap then come back up here. So as everyone was leaving and I just got to sleep, the doctor came into my room. She told me that as they were transferring Barrett to the nursery he stopped breathing for a couple of seconds, then started back up again, then stopped again....so they took him back up to the NICU and found that he had 2x as much magnesium in his system that he is suppose to have. I was on mag for about 26 hours before I delivered since I had pre-eclampisa. A moment of guilt came over me and I began to cry thinking I did this to him. Then I shot back to reality and knew that it was all things that HAD to happen for my health. So she said that they are going to make him urinate all the mag that is in his system, should take about 48 hours. Then I get another visit about an hour later from another doctor in the NICU telling me that they tried to feed him and he had a bad reaction to it so they had to start a feeding tube, and place him on a breathing machine. They were also going to tests to make sure his brain wasn't bleeding or anything else was wrong with his brain.

I thought I was in a horrible nightmare, I understand that it could have been worse, but you couldn't have told me that at that time! So the first thing I do is I call Graham, dreading this phone call, thinking the first call I make to my husband since he left the hospital, is to tell him something is wrong with his son. After telling him, he got off the phone and was on his way back to the hospital. This is not the nicest thing to say, but everyone kept calling me to congratulate me and was showing up wanting to see him and all I wanted was for Graham to hurry up and get there and everyone else to leave me alone. I couldn't get out of my bed for 24 hours since I was hooked up to the mag and was having to basically pee my pre-clampsia out of me.

The doctors had nothing new to tell me until the next morning (Friday). She told me that he was doing much better and they were taking him off the breathing machine and he was starting to make progress on peeing the mag out of his system. They were going to keep him for 5 days to watch his progress and as long as nothing else happens he will be able to come home on Tuesday.

That moment everything was completely different. I felt happy again and started to smile....I was able to get out of my bed that morning, took a shower, put make up on and suddenly I realized that I was able to actually walk up stairs and see my son for the first time!

Once I got up there, I saw how perfect he actually was. I know everyone says how beautiful their child is and how perfect they are, but he really was. Most infants look strange to me, for me, it takes a good couple of weeks for them to start looking really cute. Barrett on the other hand didn't look like a typical newborn. What can I say, he was just perfect despite all the wires and tubes coming out of his body.

Yesterday they were discharging me and I thought I would be ready since I had been in the hospital on bed rest for 12 days. As I was leaving the hospital, this horrible sickness came over me. I'm leaving without Barrett. I knew it was only a couple of days, and until he was able to come home I would see him all the time, but still, having to leave without our baby was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life. Once I got home, I tried to start unpacking my stuff, and figured I was pretty tired I could use a nap. I was home for maybe 2 hours before I lost it. I started crying and couldn't stop. I looked at Graham and asked if he would drive me back up to the hospital so I can see him again. He said okay. So there I was going back to the place that I couldn't wait to get out of to see my little man. As soon as I got to see him again, I instantly started feeling happy again, just holding him was amazing. I could just hold him and look at him all day long! So we left a couple of hours later, and that visit made me feel a lot better and now I'm looking forward to this morning when I will go back up there....

Now, about the last 12 days!

Last Tuesday morning I woke up to find that I was so swollen I couldn't even walk. I took my blood pressure and it was 164/110. So I called my doctor to see what he wanted me to do. He told me to get up to the hospital and to take my bag because I probably wouldn't be coming home. That was something I didn't want to hear, I still had 5 weeks to go.

Once I got there, they saw everything and then tested to see if I had any protein in my urine. Yes there was, so they admitted me and that is where boredom began! They had to watch my urine to see how much protein was in there, then they could determine how sever my pre-eclampia actually was. Came back that I was a little above the medium mark. I wasn't sever, which was good they wouldn't have to take the baby right away. However, that meant I had to stay on hospital bed rest. UGH, that was bad! I thought I was loosing my mind after the 3rd day. After the 9th day, I started to inch all over my body. I showed the doctor that I was starting to get a rash. He then tested me for cholestasis of pregnancy. That is another disease that you get from being pregnant. It is basically where your liver isn't functioning the way it is suppose to. Instead of putting everything in your intestines it is putting it back in your blood stream. They only cure just like pre-eclampsia is delivery. So the next morning my doctor came into my room and said well, you have two diseases, we are going to go ahead and induce you today, day 10. It took them 8 hours to get everything "prepped" then once everything was softened and ready they induced me at 9:45 PM and by 8:06 AM I had a beautiful son!